4 STDs That’ll Prove You Had Sex

Do your friends still not believe that you’ve ever had sex, no matter how many stories you tell them about threesomes with supermodels? Well, we at ManFacts have found a surefire solution that’ll guarantee to make everyone believe you’re the millionaire playboy that you claim to be. All you have to do is get yourself a sexually transmitted disease! How can you claim someone is a virgin if they actively have pus dripping out of their man-meat, or little bugs nibbling away at their swimsuit region?  We’ve put together a list of four handy-dandy STDs that’ll cement your status as an alpha-stud and show the ladies that you have the bedroom experience to drive them wild.

Chlamydia

This STD is perfect for beginners looking for proof of their sexual conquest without having to make too much commitment. You can brag about a sharp pain in your testicles and abdomen to let all your friends know you’re getting some. If they still don’t believe you, just show them the discharge coming from your shlong, or as we at ManFacts like to call it, “Stud Slime.” Plus, if your newfound status as a chick-magnet ever becomes too much, all you need is a quick trip to the doctor and some antibiotics.

Crabs

What screams, “I slam cooch” more than hundreds of little creatures crawling around in your pubes? These little critters leave badass bites that only a true stud would have, and they’ll have your back if you ever need a witness to testify that you’re truly the reincarnation of Casanova himself.

Syphilis

Ahh syphilis, the disease of pirates. Everyone knows those guys got laid all the time, right? This one comes with rashes for you to show off. Plus, if you let this bad boy stew for a few years, it might start affecting your brain. Maybe it’ll turn you into one of those badass crazy dudes, like that Joker guy from that movie you like, or that leather jacket soap guy, what’s his face. Everyone knows both of them were knee-deep in snatch.

HIV/AIDS

Ahh, the daddy of all STDs. Only get this one if you’re cool with carrying the status of super-stud for life, cause there’s no cure. To be completely honest with you, there’s a solid chance it’ll eventually kill you. But if you die from AIDS, that basically means you died from sex. Like come on, how cool does that sound? “Cause of death: too much porking.” Pop that on my tombstone, baby.