Money
1/9/2023 by Ken Taro Ward
Adult Son Flattered You Think His Mom Can Afford House With A Basement
SAN DIEGO - In a heated debate that took place on Facebook deciding whether a hot dog is a type of sandwich or not, the name-hurling and insults came...
12/20/2022 by Brandon Puff
Insider Report Shows Nearly Fifty Percent Of Remaining Workforce At Twitter Being Used To Optimize Musk's Ego
In the weeks following Musk’s takeover of Twitter, droves of staff members have either quit or been fired. But what of the remaining workforce still ...
11/4/2022 by Fred Nelson
Debt Forgiveness? This Landlord Forgave The Deposit He Owes You
8/31/2022 by Fred Nelson
OPINION: Skipping Your Child Support Payments Is The New Punk Rock
With all these kids today claiming to be into punk music, I think it's really important we realize what truly defines punk not just as a genre, b...
8/23/2022 by Caleb Townsend
HBO Max Revels 5-Year-Plan To Completely Erase Their Entire Library
HBO Max has announced a five-year plan to completely erase their entire library forever. The news comes in the wake of a new merger, under the umbrel...
7/27/2022 by Brandon Puff
Whoops: America Sent China Nearly 30 Billion In Military Aid And Now We Need To Ask For It Back
America finds itself in an awkward position after State officials accidentally sent China nearly 30 billion dollars worth of military aid. The embarr...
7/22/2022 by Brandon Puff
CEOs Everywhere Demand Workers Return To The Office Because They Are Extremely Lonely Without Them
CEOs all across the country have begun demanding their employees return to the office so they aren’t so lonely all day long. While remote work has be...
6/18/2022 by Fred Nelson
Tesla Rolls Out New Self-Crashing Feature
4/27/2022 by Erwin Feinberg
Elon Musk Buys Twitter, Vowing to Rule it Like a South African Emerald Mine
Well, my fellow free-speech defenders, it finally happened. Twitter has proven to be no match for billionaire and defender of the rights of every man...
4/6/2022 by Brandon Puff
What Does Bitcoin Taste Like? These Tech Experts Want Me To Stop Asking
It’s the question that absolutely nobody is asking, what does Bitcoin taste like? Despite my best efforts to find out, I have been blockaded at every...
3/16/2022 by Caleb Townsend , Brandon Puff
Inspiring? Your High School Friend Who Dropped Out Of College Just Spent His Savings On An NFT
Lexington, VA. — Despite never showing much potential in school, Lexington resident Leon James recently discovered that his ne’er-do-well high scho...
3/15/2022 by Caleb Townsend
My Wife Keeps Complaining About Inflation And Gas But She’s The One Who Keeps Feeding Me Burritos
These days, it’s nearly impossible to scroll Facebook without seeing a status about gas or inflation. Everywhere I look, people are complaining about...
3/10/2022 by Brandon Puff
Elon Musk Abandons Plans To Colonize Mars After Finding Out Tax Rates Are Higher There
With an announcement that has shocked both NASA and the scientific community at large, Elon Musk has declared that he and his company SpaceX will be ...
2/16/2022 by Editorial Staff
Inflation Out of Control! The Price of Human Meat is Up For the First Time in 30 Years
We have all been feeling the pinch of inflation recently, you see it all around you. Empty shelves, overpriced Smash Mouth tickets, the list goes on ...
2/9/2022 by Editorial Staff
Everyone Is On Board With Forgiving Student Loan Debt, But No No One Will Forgive Me For Hitting That Kid With My Car
Ever since Joe Biden became president, there has been a lot of talk about forgiving student loan debt. Generally, most of the people I talk to seem t...
1/20/2022 by Brian Beuche
How To Show A Job That You’re The Ideal Candidate Who Will Do FUCKING ANYTHING To Land The Job
Brian Bueche Job hunting is annoying. You have to find a job you like, you have to make up a whole application, write a cover letter, and if you’r...
1/10/2022 by Brandon Puff
Marvel Reveals Phase Four Of Its Takeover Of The Ukrainian Government
Big news for Marvel fans came this weekend after Kevin Feige announced phase four of their plans to take over the Ukrainian government. Feige laid ...
12/17/2021 by Caleb Townsend
Study Shows Men Who Tweet “Rise and Grind” in Their Twenties Likely to Tweet “Wake and Bake” in Their Thirties
A new study shows that men who tweet “Rise and Grind” in their twenties are more likely to tweet “Wake and Bake” in their thirties. The startling st...
11/12/2021 by Dave Ruff
How To Motivate Your Parents To Work Harder So They Can Invest In Your Company
The grindset is alive and real here in my crib, and if I’m gonna pop off I’m gonna need a motha-fucking jumping board! My main man, Jeff Bezos got ...
11/4/2021 by Caleb Townsend
Joe Biden Raised Gas Prices and He’s Also the Reason My Car is Impounded
Well, congrats, Dems. I hope you guys are proud of yourselves. Because of your reckless disregard for the future of our country, now we all get to su...
10/29/2021 by Caleb Townsend
Facebook Changes Name to “The Facebook”
In efforts to rebrand themselves, Facebook has officially changed their name to “The Facebook.” The news comes on the heels of Mark Zuckerberg’s anno...
9/28/2021 by Fred Nelson
What Elon Musk’s Breakup Means for Dogecoin
Being the savvy investor that you are, you’re probably wondering how external factors are going to influence your Dogecoin portfolio. And, of course,...
9/23/2021 by Shane O'Connor
Millennial Barbie Fears She May Never Be Able to Buy Dream House
Malibu, CA – Man Facts was granted an exclusive interview with Millennial Barbie to learn more about her financial trials and tribulations. Over the ...
9/13/2021 by Caleb Townsend
Move Over Cigarettes! Ivermectin is the Newest, Hottest Prison Currency
If you’ve been to prison or watched the films Get Hard or Let’s Go to Prison , you know that cigarettes are the cornerstone of the in-prison econo...
6/21/2021 by Brandon Puff
How To Survive Prison By Having Daddy Get You A Really Good Lawyer
Prison is scary, that’s a fact. It’s full of drugs, violence, minorities, and all manner of things that would make the average person petrified. Have...
6/1/2021 by Janice Peabody
Build Dick Pic Market Value by Making It an NFT
Listen up, gents. We’ve been flooding the dick pic market for decades. We’re supplyin’ but the ladies aren’t demandin’… for whatever reason. But no...
