5 Things Woman Under 5’5 Never Get Tired of Hearing

So your liberal friends are all vaccinated and the bars are beginning to welcome customers in again. It’s been a while since you’ve practiced your pickup lines and dusted off that H&M bomber jacket you bought at the mall in 2012 with your mom. You’ve just gotten your quarantine beard manscaped to a chin strap and your acid wash jeans are tighter than ever. 

Your license says you’re 5’9 but those black Nike running shoes round you up to an impressive 5’10. Let’s be real, tall women are not for us. There’s plenty of basketball players in the world for women over 5’8. Physical preferences are everything these days. Have a type and stick to it. 

Here are 5 ways to approach any woman under 5’5 at a bar. 

Ask Her to Take Her Shoes Off 

Women love an opportunity to show you their latest pedicure. This method will also show you how short she is flat-footed.

Pat Her Hair Down on Her Head. 

Not only is this playful and friendly, you will also be able to measure where her head stops and her hair starts. Crucial for taking note of her actual height.

“You Remind me of a Pack of M&Ms I Used to Get at Halloween When I was a Kid, Fun-Sized!”

This line never fails. Women love being called fun-sized but beyond that, you are showing her your sensitive side. Sharing childhood memories is sexy. 

“The Air is Thinner up Here!” 

Assertive yet playful. She now knows you’re full of jokes and as well acknowledging your physical dominance. Highlighting your height over hers is going to make her wetter than your mom’s crawl space. 

Bring a Measuring Tape to the Bar. 

Not only will she assume you work in construction (sexy), she will appreciate being measured because it shows carefulness and attention to detail. 

Try all 5 or pick your 3 favorites! And remember! Assert yourself, remain prideful, and always begin the conversation with “I”.