Grimes Finally Breaks Silence on Relationship With Elon Musk: “Beep Boop Bzzzzzgh”

Couple goals! Following the lead of her partner Elon Musk, who hosted SNL in May, musician and total goth #girlboss Grimes agreed to sit down with us and finally dish about her super elusive relationship with the controversial Tesla CEO. 

“Beep Boop Bzzzzzgh” she purred enthusiastically as she entered the room…and repeated when we asked her how parenthood was treating them both. The couple met online in 2018 when Elon tweeted a pun about Artificial Intelligence and welcomed their child X AE A-12 in May of 2020. Besides the scandals with the anti-union history, transphobia, COVID misinformation, and rumors of imperialism- all anyone can talk about is just how freakin’ cute this baby is! 

Even their nanny stopped to provide comments while she lovingly placed X AE A-12 on his charging station to tend to his low battery. 

“I’ve worked for Mr. Musk for quite some time”, said the nanny. “There’s nothing he loves in this world more than AI and the extraterrestrial. Grimes is at the intersection of both of those things. Oh god, oh no, I’ve said too much”. No one has heard from the nanny since.

Of course, we couldn’t stop ourselves from asking just how the two of them are able to make it work despite being so ideologically different from one another. 

She smiled warmly at us for quite some time. A little too long. After a bit she emitted a long monotone beeping, so we figured we just needed to give her some time. As we waited, we refreshed her Twitter page and noticed that the term “anti-imperialist” had disappeared from her bio, how bizarre!

After our building’s tech support guy was able to come to help her refresh, we wrapped up by asking her if the couple had any big plans coming up for the rest of the year, she replied: “Welcome Elon! Starting route to…colony X1 2458 BZD on Mars. Gravity level 3.721 m/s2 and surface area 55.91 million mi2”. 

So romantic. Who said chivalry was dead?