Hey Sherlock! Here's A Deduction! You're A Nerd Who Doesn't Get Laid

Well, what do we have here? Looks like it's a big nerd with a big brain snooping about for information. There sure is lots to deduce isn’t there? You could crack this thing wide open with that big smart brain of yours, couldn’t you? How about I make a deduction for once? 

You’re a nerd who doesn’t get laid!

How did I determine this? I’m glad you asked, allow me to deduce it further for you. Based on those shoes you’re wearing that have no style or slickness to them and looking at your lame cookie-cutter haircut, I can determine that you have never been touched by anyone in your entire life. Even further, I can deduce you have never been naked in bed with anyone ever, not even a kiss.

Let’s dive a little deeper shall we? You clearly lack confidence based on how you carry yourself in public and judging by how often you nervously touched your watch when that hot blonde walked by, I can deduce that you’re uncomfortable with ladies like the nervous little dweeb you are. You also seem to have spent quite some time on your outfit, a nicely fitted suit shows me you must be really insecure about how you’re perceived. Well, guess what buddy, that suit looks terrible on your skeleton body that nobody will ever want to touch. 

How did I do? I’m like a genius at this stuff, I can deduce you’re really emotionally scarred by what I said. Maybe Watson can be your wingman and help you pick up some old lady at the bar near your house? I deduce even someone like that might be too much for you to handle.

Feel free to do all your future deductions alone in your room like you have every other night, I’ll see you later nerd.