How To Fight Against The Deep State And Cancel Your Disney+ Subscription (With A Little Help From Your Grandson)

My fellow patriots, the time has come to rise up against the liberal pedophile elite. Disney has publically opposed the bill allowing teachers to show Brokeback Mountain in class and it’s on YOU to do what we’ve all been stringently against for years: cancel Disney+. 

But how do you cancel it? It’s very easy, even for the most technologically challenged readers (fun fact, 98% of our viewership reads these articles in a newspaper printed in size 72 font). 

This article will provide an easy step-by-step guide to canceling your subscription to Disney+. 

Step 1: Log Onto Disneyplus.com 

Step 2: Go To Your Account 

Step 3: It’s The Little Logo, On The Top Right Corner of the Page

Step 4: No, Not That, That’s Ice Age: Scrat Tales. You’re Now Watching Ice Age: Scrat Tales

Step 5: Press Pause. 

Step 6: I Said PAUSE. 

Step 7: Now Exit Out

Step 8: Call Your Grandson

Step 9: Do You Remember Your Grandson’s Number? 

Step 10: Okay, Just Drive To His House Then 

Step 11: What Do You Mean You Got Your License Revoked?!

Step 12: Post On His Facebook Wall 

Step 13: You Deleted Everything But Parlor?

Step 14: Well Is He On Parlor? 

Step 15: You’re Right, Stupid Question. 

Step 16: Well, I Guess Just Wait Until He Comes To Visit. But Make Sure He Doesn’t Touch The Computer Himself. He Has To Teach YOU How To Do It. He’ll Appreciate The Few Hours It’ll Take Spending Time With You.