“I’m Not Into People Jamming Needles In Me,” Says Man Who Injects Human Growth Hormones

The Covid Vaccines are here, and like many men, I’m skeptical of anything not sold by a certified lunatic who calls school shooting victims “crisis actors”. Anything the government wants to inject in your veins should be treated with distrust. You have no idea what they put in there. It could be AIDS for all you know. It’s likely a way to control the population of true patriots, and kill us off so that only the cast and fans of This is Us remain. 

I should say that as a longtime user of Human Growth Hormone (HGH), I know how to inject things responsibly, and there are some serious questions I have about the injection methods when it comes to the Covid vaccines. For example, when I inject a bunch of HGH after eating a whole carton of raw eggs and 12 cans of chicken breast, I know that in the next week or so I’m gonna start looking bigger. Not as big as I want to be (BIG AS POSSIBLE), but I’m on my way. 

How will I know if this shot even works if I can’t see the results almost immediately after? Like when I inject HGH, and I feel big, like I can squash any man who would dare cross my path, that makes me feel powerful. I feel like, a king among men; a demi-god if you will, and that’s why I’m really fucking annoyed my doctor won’t allow me to take it anymore. I’ve tried to explain to him that “if I don’t take it, I won’t be big and if I’m not big what the fuck am I”, and he just referred me to a therapist. I beat the shit out of him right there in his office. “That’ll show what a big man I am,” I thought. And it did.

Anyways, the Covid vaccine. I don’t know. I’m just not sure we should all be rolling up our sleeves for something that doesn’t make us into mutated behemoths of our former selves.