My Girlfriend Is On Her Period So I’m Writing This Article Until It’s Over

What a great time to write this article. Look, between you and me, I just need to get away from my old lady friend until she’s done acting like a monster. You understand, right fellas?

Frankly, I don’t even want to know what kind of crazy demands she would be making of me right now if I was out there with her. The last time she was on the roaring rag, she wanted me to go to the store and get her pain medication. The worst part about it? It was during a football game! 

Who would have thought someone’s monthly biological functions could turn them into Hitler’s clone?!

Anyway, I hope she’s not burning the neighbors down with her fire breath. You know how women get when the bloody river starts flowing. In fact, just last month, she got really emotional during her special time and she confronted me about how I always distance myself from her when things get tough.

Total she-wolf, am I right fellas? Thankfully, I had my silver bullet on me: I’ve got my locked door and this article that I desperately need to write. 

I’m pretty sure her rampage is just about over so I guess I’ll poke my head out.

Good news! The doom and gloom princess has officially retreated. She left me some notes about how I can’t support her emotionally and that she wasn’t even on her period. Apparently her mom just died or something which is why she was so emotional. Typical manipulative woman, trying to make me feel like a bad guy. Anyway guys, I don’t need to keep writing this article anymore so I’ll catch you on the flipside!