“School Mask Mandates Are Child Abuse,” Says Man Who Hits His Kids

LEHIGH VALLEY, PENNSYLVANIA – Awaiting a much-anticipated decision from the school board regarding masks requirements for students this upcoming fall, father of two, and known corporal punishment advocate, John Makowski, stands on a street corner. He is holding a sign reading the words, “Spare the masks, save the kids,” in hopes of swaying the board’s verdict.

“I don’t understand how teachers could do something so cruel to little children. Can you imagine the long-term psychological effects of making someone wear something on their face, day-in and day-out, during their developmental years? School mask mandates are child abuse, plain and simple,” said Makowski, who just two weeks ago, posted a six-paragraph rant on his Facebook page, outlining his pro-hitting parenting philosophy. “Hitting one’s children is crucial in, “teaching them some goddamn respect,” and preventing them from becoming, “a bunch of little SJW shits,” he wrote for all of his family and friends to see.

“To be honest, I can’t even bear to imagine the sheer embarrassment I would’ve felt being forced to wear a mask to school when I was a kid,” tearfully stated Mccowsky who, just 3 days prior, threatened to give his son a “whoopin’,” in the middle of a T.G.I. Fridays, according to various onlookers.